Almost every request I make, whether it be chores or homework, is met with a “You suck." Morning, noon and night, I hear about how much I suck. I started to get a complex.
“Maybe I do suck,” I thought to myself.
So I asked my friends. Apparently, sometimes, I do.
Mostly because I work a thousand hours in the summer and miss Memorial Day parties, Fourth of July parties and am just, generally, time-restrained. There was no mention of “sucking” because I was as my children say.
So I asked the kids why they always say "I suck."
“'Cause you make us do our chores;
“'Cause you're always nagging us about homework;
“'Cause, if we don't do something the same day you ask, you get mad."
Umm...OK...but does that really make me suck?
I am thinking about doing an experiment and not doing my chores, like grocery shopping and cleaning and seeing how long it would take for them to notice. Maybe if I didn't fill the car up with gas and said I would do it tomorrow, it would get their attention. Not getting a ride the moment they want to get somewhere because I “suck” and didn't go the gas station?
I know it's all part of having teenagers, so in lieu of getting angry about being told “I suck” constantly, I am going to buy them a vocabulary calender. Maybe I can boost their SAT vocabulary scores by coming up with different versions of ways to say "I suck."
I envision something like:
“Mom, that (insert chore) is infelicitous" or “Mom, that (insert chore/action) is pedestrian and I have no desire to do it henceforth."
Of course, I also envision it would be said with an English accent.
Until I get them onboard with the advancement in vocabulary, I guess I'll just "suck" because it's time to go and check to see if they cleaned their rooms.