Conquering Fears
This past week, my family and I ventured off to Niagara Falls with the kids. We stayed in a beautiful hotel and set out to see one of nature's wonders.
We stayed on the “American side” in spite of everyone’s advice to see it from the Canadian side because it was “so much better." I am happy to report that it was simply majestic and beautiful right here from the good ol’ USA. The rapids along the canal that lead to the falls were a violent rush of water that was just as breathtaking as they were deadly. We walked along the canal to the falls to see the enormous rush of water leap over the falls into a pool of the most beautiful turquoise colored water I’d ever seen outside of Miami Beach or the Caribbean.
My son, Colin, ever the cautious one, and all of 9 years old observed quietly, staying very close to us, fully understanding the dangers that came with that rushing water. I could see the anxiety come over him as he began to scratch uncontrollably (a nervous tendency) so I reached for his hand and said, “Amazing isn’t it?" I wore a smile that I hoped would reassure him that he was safe.
My husband, understanding that his wife too is petrified of water (let alone rapids and waterfalls), asked if I wanted to take the kids on the Maid of the Mist. This ferry would take us close to the waterfalls, where we could view this miracle from the midst of it all. My son, blessed with bionic ears, heard my husband’s whispered question and squeezed my hand, quickly objecting with a firm “Mom, I don’t want to go.” We were a split group, three (including our houseguest from France) who wanted to go, and two who were afraid to go.
We decided to skip it and head back to the hotel. The kids went off into the swimming pool as I sat thinking about all the things I missed out on in my 40 years of life because I was afraid to try. I realized that I didn’t want that for my kids. My daughter is pretty adventurous, but my son leads by fear. The best way to help him to conquer his fears was to conquer my own (lead by example), and what better way to do this, than as a team on this trip!
The next morning we hung out by the pool again, had lunch and then set off back to Niagara Falls, with my plan to board the Maid of the Mist kept secret. Once there, I asked my husband to go off and purchase our tickets. As I looked Colin in the eye, I said, “We are doing this. It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity, people do it everyday and they all come off that boat with a smile on their face, and so will we!” Colin stared at me with those flannel-colored blue eyes and whispered “Aren’t you scared, Mom?” I explained that I was nervous, but sometimes that is part of the fun. I said let’s just have faith and end the day, rest knowing we did something we thought we’d never do.
The view of the Falls from the Maid of the Mist was astonishing. I admit my heart was beating out of my chest as the boat fought to stay put in those aggressive waters, however the magnificent sights that our eyes were taking in overshadowed any fears that were within. We each stood silent observing the falls. I glanced at my son and said "What do you think?: He replied, "It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”
While I trust that he will grow into a successful man, who I hope travels the world to see more beautiful sights, I am happy that I was part of this one and proud that I was able to conquer a fear with one of the greatest loves of my life, my son. My hope is that you too, will consider forcing your fears to take a back seat, and live your life to the fullest. One challenge at a time.
Tonya Borello
11:40 am on Monday, August 13, 2012
Good for you! Beautifully written too. You did a great thing there for you and for your son. Ispirational as always. A nice change of pace from all the recent negativity posted here on the Patch.
A
8:47 pm on Monday, August 20, 2012
I agree....Love this.
Dermody
1:01 pm on Monday, August 13, 2012
I visited the Falls myself two weeks ago. It is an overwhelming sight I think everyone should see (I also saw them from the U.S. side) Love your description of it all, sums it up nicely.
Mr.Kyle
1:08 pm on Monday, August 13, 2012
I too have fears. Especially of the Falls. I went with my family when I was about 9 or 10. We did the walkway and I slipped and the guide grabbed me. I don't know if this is true or not, but I thought I was going to fall off and die. My sister has been fighting her fear of heights and is winning. This fear was installed by our mother. I found myself doing it to my own children, but they are not afraid of anything. I'm still afraid of bridges and heights. But I want to go back to the Falls and see them again as an adult. Your story has inspired me. Thank you so much for your inspirational story.
Nelson Almeida
5:22 pm on Monday, August 13, 2012
Fabulous
Marti Monteiro
7:56 pm on Monday, August 13, 2012
Thanks everyone. @Kyle... I am learning (the older I get) that most fears are learned from our mothers. I find this both funny and disturbing, funny because I am a mom and I find myself sometimes screaming "WATCH OUT" when there is nothing more than a soda can falling out of a fridge, yet you'd think the entire fridge was falling over with the way I screamed. And disturbing because I hate to think that I was the cause of anyone's fears or discomfort. I try to catch myself and seize these moments to redeem myself. ;) Definately go check out the falls and dare I say, board the Maid of the Mist, it's breathtaking.
Carol Bragg
9:52 pm on Monday, August 13, 2012
Marti: Other fears are definitely acquired from experience. I almost drowned when I was 6 years old. I was saved by a Baptist minister, so later when I joined a Baptist church I figured I'd already been through the total immersion. In any event, the feeling of sinking into the pond left me with a fear of heights. It's been easier to conquer the fear of water (by swimming and knowing to float on my back if I'm in trouble) than the fear of falling from heights.
Marti Monteiro
11:23 pm on Monday, August 13, 2012
Carol I completely agree. last summer I went to miami beach and actually managed to go into the ocean waist deep which is something I never do.. I'm not a swimmer and I have a fear of sharks. here I was so proud of myself, and don't you know two sand sharks swim by me and my best friend. I swore the universe was making fun of me, as I broke every rule ran out of the water screaming "SHARKS!!!"(I would later notice that no one else was alarmed because they are accustomed to seeing them). So now the fear of the ocean is stronger than ever! I have decided that next year I will go back to miami beach and go back into that water.. I don't know if it'll be waist deep, but I'll try which is all anyone can do.
Judy de Perla
7:40 am on Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Living life to the fullest. Love your story, Marti.
Judy de Perla
7:41 am on Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Living life to the fullest. Nothing better, Marti.
English first
8:23 am on Tuesday, August 14, 2012
15 years ago I had a similar situation. I decided to take the ride over the Grand Canyon with my son. As time grew nearer, I began to panic.It was a small helicopter that only had 4 seats. I decided to get in despite my anxiety. It was a highlight of that vacation.
Marti Monteiro
11:35 am on Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Thank you, again! English first: that would be Epic for me (a helicopter ride) I sweat just thinking about it. I just put it on my bucket list. Thank you for the idea!
JavaJen
10:43 am on Friday, August 17, 2012
Love conquers fear! A beautiful story, beautifully written. Bravo to you.
Marti Monteiro
9:24 pm on Friday, August 17, 2012
Thank you!! (everyone!!!) and everyone who inboxed me on my f/b as well. You are all very kind. I have learned that we all have fears, none of them are insignificant, but all of them can be overcome with time and patience.
Lmanchester
9:27 pm on Friday, August 17, 2012
Very nice blog, Ms. Monteiro! @Tonya, congrats to you on the promotion! We miss you here!
russell archambault
3:42 pm on Saturday, August 18, 2012
Im afraid of everthing, especially someone liking me!
Dave
3:46 pm on Saturday, August 18, 2012
I'm cool with that Russell,everybody's gotta be something.
paul
4:56 pm on Saturday, August 18, 2012
Awesome Marti! Went for a few Patriot games with the guys, can't wait to go some year with my daughter. Also, this was the best thing I have ever read on patch.
Marti Monteiro
10:49 am on Sunday, August 19, 2012
Thank you VERY much. :)
Donna
11:29 am on Sunday, August 19, 2012
wonderful story, good for you
Tony the Tiger
7:00 pm on Monday, August 20, 2012
I have a fear of being unemployed,needless to say,i'm constantly afraid.
Bob Venice
8:13 pm on Monday, August 20, 2012
Tony theTiger
I'm sorry to read about your fear. It is not one that can not be easely fixed. One thing that could help you is to ask to speak to someone in your company that has knowledge of the future of the bussiness. Tell the person of your concern and see if they can help take the fear away for at least a year or two. If they can't give you any kind of answer to ease your fear, then seek help from a councelor. They will ease your fear and the price is the same as seeing a eye doctor. Good Luck.